Dating: When do you know you’re ready?
Well, that’s completely your decision to make.
#1: It’s all in the timing. Are you still crying every moment of the day? Wrong timing. Are you still scrutinizing his FB page? Wrong timing. Are you unusually insecure
and much too prone to having sex on the first date? Wrong timing.
#2: Know yourself. Can you casually date someone without exclusivity or commitment? Or, are you someone who only dates in a serious context? If you’re the ‘BF/GF’ only type of gal, then casual most certainly is not for you.
#3: If you are still mourning the dead relationship, then jumping into a new, exclusive, and very serious relationship (with or without sex), will potentially lead to one of you getting very, very hurt. Not fair. Don’t do it.
#4: If rule #3 applies to you, and you can’t do the casual thing, then stay single. Breathe. It’s okay to be single. Actually, it’s a lot of fun. You’ll see. ;)
Well, that settled. You’ve made your decision,
“Yes! I’m ready to date!!!”
Great but don’t rush. You’ve learned from your past relationship and so let’s simply assume that you have a better idea of what kind of man you want to date. In blunter terms, don’t settle for less. There’s a reason your past relationships have not worked out and neither you nor the ex is to be blamed. Something was missing. No, you shouldn’t be too picky but a little picky? That’s fine and as a fact, it is of necessity. Whether you are looking for casual and flirty or serious and committed, figure out a few requirements you expect from your potential partner.
Oops. Let’s not forget that you’re going to need a person, uh, to date. Realistically, sitting in your room and watching Legally Blonde (or any other romcom) is not going to get you any dates. Get yourself out there!!!
#11 rule of self-dignity and pride: Don’t be too hard on yourself and definitely don’t lower your standards. You’re wonderful and beautiful. Believe it and you’ll have men flocking to you before you know it.
I’m about to share with you a story; a real one. This is the story of my personal experience from university. It was my very first day to be exact.
Like most people, I excitedly awaited university the summer after high school graduation. Even though I didn’t know anyone at or entering my chosen school, I lacked the nerves any sane person would feel. Looking back, I’d say I was a little too excited considering the circumstances. However, I was absolutely certain
The next morning as I drove up to my residence building, my body started to feel weird; I finally felt nerves! They were tangled in my stomach, shown in my facial expression and felt all throughout my body. As I got out of the car, I was swarmed by something very odd: Orientation Leaders. I was neither expecting them nor had I ever heard of them before. They cheered, they jumped, and then they gathered me and some other bewildered students into a group. They encouraged us to cheer with them. I, however played the, ‘I’m way too cool for that’ move. I awkwardly laughed and looked at the people around me for potential friends. Then, I made a friend.
Although he was slightly too confident for my likings, he was decently funny and he talked a lot, which meant I didn’t have to. Bonus: He seemed interested in being friends with me.
Primary thought? A FRIEND!
As we waited for our orientation packages in line, we decided that after we finished moving into our dorm rooms, we would meet up for lunch. I forgot to mention to you all that my phone was being repaired at the time. Problem: We had no way of getting ahold of each other through the thousands of Freshmen.
I finished unpacking all my heavy bags, printer, photo frames and miscellaneous items into my new room. I decided to look around my residence. As I was about to walk out, I looked around the hallway from my room, and it looked strange and unknown to me. Uh-Oh, it hit me again: NERVES. I quickly ran back inside. Second Problem: I had no idea how to set up my internet. I couldn’t call anyone and I couldn’t video-chat anyone.
and the whole summer…I was EXCITED?!?!
Reality check: I had no friends, not even an acquaintance or a frenemy. All I had was the stuffed animal my grandfather had given to me when I was about 5 years old. Well, that certainly would not be helping me in the friends department…
I was starving and I knew I needed to grab food, with people or not. I walked out of my room and I made eye contact with the guy living across from me. He looked pretty damn awkward and by no means was he someone I would have regularly befriended, especially back in high school. However, I was alone and so was he.
Our lunch was unsurprisingly awkward and definitely forced. On the bright side, he was extremely nice to me and he seemed just as nervous as I was. However, surprise, surprise: We remained friends after that day. BAM. My first university friend! So he wasn’t exactly my cup of tea at the time but I quickly realized that he was a good-hearted person and a perfect example of looking beyond ‘the cover’. Unlike the guy I hung out in line with, this one was a keeper. I’d take awkward over cocky any day!
#10 rule of self-dignity and pride: You can read countless magazine articles on how to act, what to wear, and who to meet before entering university. I’d suggest reading about university in magazines for general knowledge and to calm down your nerves. However, college isn’t about cliques and stereotypes nor is it about presenting a facade to people because that is simply too exhausting. What you should do is follow your morals and trust your instincts.
Be different. Be great. Be yourself.
I must apologize as I have been awfully unfair to you. As you likely have assumed from my blog name, Anonymous College Girl (ACG), this blog is anonymous and it is targeted towards the best type of young ladies out there: College girls! Why? Simply because I want to be the voice that, when I entered university, I always hoped to hear. I am blunt and silly with a passion for the lifestyle aspect of social media, which has lead me to write a variety of articles that are hopefully relatable to you! The articles I have written and which I will continue to write are focused towards the age group that you and I coincidentally fit into. I don’t take BS from boys and I certainly don’t fall into the dumb girl category yet I love fashion, trying new food, making new friends, exercise, family, true love, traveling, and making jewelry but most importantly, I adore writing for all of you.
You also must know that I have a bizarre imagination and in my opinion, a pretty good sense of humour. Any thoughts you have or anything you want written about, shoot me a message and I’d be more than happy to put my spin on it. Anything, as crazy or bizarre as you may believe it to be, I welcome you to discuss it with me. Also, if you want to just message me to say,
“hey, what’s up giiiiirllll”,
I would be on top of the moon with happiness to respond to you as frequently as you please!
Now, I know it must be hard to follow my blog when you can’t put a face to it or even a name! So, please, I encourage you to call me anything you want and let it be as creative, as sassy, or as awesome a nickname you can think of! It’s kind of great not to have a set image of me though, don’t you think? You hate blondes? Great, Im a brunette then!!! You hate brunettes? Oh, I’m totally a redhead!!!! Think of me as your online BFFAEAEAEAE and picture me however you please because I am writing for you (and only you… SHHHH).
Before I allow myself to be a good academic and get my inny-minny a little squishy on the sides and slightly flat from behind butt to school, please, please, please have fun with my anonymous shenanigans and let your imagination run!!!
Have an awesome day at school you beauty queens! One last thing: I DARE you to meet a guy at the library (instead of the bar) today.
Angela, Bridget, Rachel, Elle… Anonymous College Girl
So you have roommate issues…
Maybe you’re ultra-laidback and that is totally awesome, but most girls aren’t – and thus, the
dainty and manicured claws come out. Remember Mean Girls? Those girls exist – inside YOU. Actually, inside each and every one of us, there is a mean girl. This alter-ego may come out when all your ice cream has magically disappeared or it may come out when ANTM is being played at an extremely annoying noise level. Whether this divalicious side of you comes out over something completley stupid and trivial or over something actually worth fighting over, a distant call of,
“HEAR ME RAWR”!!!!!!!!
And girls – we all know, this ‘rawr’ is no longer coming from a sweet and nice girl. NO. This is a different side of you, one that rarely comes out… but when it does,
“those bitches better watch out”.
In all seriousness, these situations can be the worst no matter what end of the battle you’re on. You may feel angered, confused, and probably very vulnerable. No matter what emotion is at heart, it is probably not a good one. Hopefully, you are able to solve this situation sooner rather than later as such girl fights can have a major effect on your school year.
When the tension starts to built, it is only in a matter of time that a face-off occurs. Confrontation is painfully awkward and, this dreaded face-off between roommates is unfortunately inevitable at some point in the year when all tension that has built up can no longer be classily held in.
Sorry ladies to be the one to bear the bad news but you know this is true.
I’m awkward. I hate awkward situations. I get even more awkward in them. As a result, I avoid them. I RUN. Where do I go? A boy’s house? A friend’s house? Passed out, outside a bar? I’m obviously kidding about the last one, who does that? ;)
Is this healthy? No. Smart? No. Do I still do it every time? Absolutely.
Tips on avoiding:
1) If you have no friends, hide in your room. ALL DAY. ALL NIGHT.
2) However, if you do have friends: Go to friend’s house for the entire weekend until said friend’s roommates can’t stand to see your face anymore.
I could give you more
pointless, uneffective, and sarcastic tips but she will find you. You can run. You can hide. BUT SHE WILL FIND YOU. – Not in the literal sense where you are attempting to run away from her and you accidently run into her…. I mean, if that’s what you got from that, but you do own a cellphone right?
Ready or not, here she comes.
Honestly, with all the sarcasm and humour removed, there are no tips to roommate conflicts. You gotta woMAN up and face the conflict that you’ve been childishly ignoring. Sit down, talk it out – this may mean catty screaming – and take a lot of deep breaths. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck pretending that everything is okay and that is absolutely exhausting. You may assume it’ll take a long time to get through every freaking thing you are frustrated about, but I bet you it won’t.
#6 rule of self-dignity and pride: Screaming is so last year and even last year, it wasn’t really in – at least not with girls like us. WAIT. At least, until the emotions have settled and then maturely ask if you two can talk. I’ve been in this situation and it’s not pretty, but battling it out rather than having a mature conversation is far less pretty.
Your heart literally feels broken.
You don’t know what to do.
You feel alone.
You can’t stop crying
Feel like all you want to do is listen to Adele?
I know. Sometimes life takes you on a path that you don’t exactly understand. It may make you sad and it likely makes you confused. If it came out of nowhere, it probably felt like a slap in the face – BAM. I mean, not a literal slap, but it sure felt like that inside. Am I right? This is especially true for breakups and it’s not really one slap, more like a billion of them. Life gets hard sometimes and you feel lost. So what do you do?
Here is your personal guideline to moving past a stupid, sucky, and very unfortunate breakup:
#1: Focus on yourself and your personal needs. Try to see if you can think logically through this, rather than emotionally. Log off facebook, put down your phone, and really think about why these things are happening and what this means for you. What do YOU need to do? Yes, this may be you
being super crazy cuddling with your dogs and crying until you actually cannot cry anymore! And, all you can do now is THINK – logically.
#2: Talk to loved ones. Just because I said to focus on yourself, that does not give you allowance to completely distance yourself from friends and family. It is important to accept what they offer at this time because they know you best. Sometimes, they know what you need better than you. Although, again, there is a fine line between dependence and TOTAL, utter, and uncontrollable dependence. Accept their advice but remember to listen to yourself in the end.
#3: Loved ones are good for other things too…like having a blast! When you’re ready, go for martinis (or a few Keith Whites – yum) and dance your little butt off. You work hard for that spectacular body and it is OKAY to show it off with a few scandalous dance moves. The attention is fun. Although, focus on having fun with your friends. Flirt with guys but do not let them own your night. This night is about you bonding with your girlfriends!! If you’re not ready for a full-out night, stay in and have a girls night. Watch Legally Blonde and When Harry Met Sally and bake a few cupcakes
or you know, order a couple deep dish pizzas. Either way, do what is best for you.
#4: Try something new. Take up something you have been dying to do. Not only will you feel super fabulous, you will feel proud of accomplishing something unique that only involves you. You are wonderful and you can do whatever you set your mind on. Whether that be cooking, making jewelry, or doing Zumba classes, you will feel great! Keep yourself busy.
#5: So if you’re at this step, and you have not cried, then you are a very stable person and I am jealous of you. If you are normal, then you have cried. Let yourself cry a little more then remind yourself, ‘I am better than this’. That’s right, you are! Feel the emotions to an extent, then MOVE ON!
#6: BOYS, GUYS, MEN. Whatever you call them, they all do the same thing. They make you feel HOT, AWESOME, COOL etc. Flirt a little. Go on a date. Give that boy sitting across from you at the library your number. It’s fun, exciting and honestly, not much harm can come from flirting. ENJOY because this is the joy of being a lady; we know how to talk to boys better than they know how to talk to us. Thank you Cosmo, and well, personal experience too.
#7: Breathe. That’s it. Simple. Play music and breathe. This means being alone again. Love yourself and treat yourself like gold. You’re worth it.
#8: You’re ready. Think about why it ended. Whether it was your decision or not, whether you are regretting it or not, it is extremely important AND healthy to look at the negatives of the relationship. You’ll see, it happened for a reason. If you don’t see now that it’s for the better, you will soon. Each day gets better and the way you feel right now is NOT how you will feel tomorrow. Life moves on and so will you!
REALITY CHECK: Stop hoping that you two will get back together. If you do, you likely will break up again. Like I said, you likely broke up for a very good reason. It’s hard to hear, but it’s up to you whether you accept that or not. I believe after about 10 days, you have the choice to hold on, or to start moving on with your life. Sounds a little ridiculous, but I have quite a few friends who believe this too. See for yourself and good luck!!!
#5 rule of self-dignity and pride: I’m sure all you want to do, depending on your personal situation, is cry over Ben & Jerrys and a season of Sex and the City but snap out of it. We are WOMEN and we are BETTER THAN THAT!
This is an interesting one. So this guy has told you that he likes you. You like him too. His friends bug him about you. He talks to you all day long, every day.
He makes you laugh. He’s fun. He gives you the attention every girl desires.
Red flag #1: He has never had a girlfriend before.
I get it!!! He’s not used to this whole dating scene. He’s more so used to the whole…
one-night stand thing,
“Morning regrets are sooooo NOT my thing”.
Red flag #2: He goes out partying multiple times a week. No, not 2/week. Not 3/week. 4+ days a week.
Red flag #3: He won’t ask you out on a f-cking date. WHY NOT!? Well, that may be your fault girl. You probably said the following,
“I want this to be casual. You are welcome to see other people as I intend to do the same”,
not totally crazy, cool and laid-back about the whole thing. However, you can’t seem to get him out of your head.
And don’t you just want to say this to him?:
“We talk for hours. We click. We are attracted to each other. Yes, I do want to hang out. But, maybe we can go outside the house to watch a movie?”
If only it were that simple
and logical. UGH.
#4 rule of self-dignity and pride: If it’s been a long while, and still nothing has happened, then he’s so not worth your time. And if he’s not worth your time, then don’t give him any time. However, if you’re merely freaking out over NBD, then calm the f-ck down and go with the flow. If it doesn’t work out, there are plenty of fish in the sea.